The Challenge:
Write a flash fiction story (in any format) in 100 words or less, excluding the title. Begin the story with the words, “The goldfish bowl teetered” These four words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional, and not part of the judging criteria), see if you can write the story in your own genre (eg if you’re a horror writer, write a horror story; a romance writer, a romance story, etc). (want to read more? visit Rachael Harrie's Blog)
My Entry:
The goldfish bowl teetered
tumbled and toppled
Oh dear! Oh my!
bumbled and boppled
What to do? What to do?
flailing and flapping
grasp this! grasp that!
whirling and wobbling
I only made matters worse
smacking and smashing
off the table top
battered and bashing
The goldfish paniced inside
splishing and splashing
This way and that!
darting and dashing
I watched it dance, spellbound
coiling and circling
Round and round it went
Whirling and waltzing
Hypnotizing
mesmerizing
fascinating
captivating
Watching it
careen and plunge
Thwack!
Very nicely done. :) I love the sounds created in this piece.
ReplyDeleteGreat fun, well done!
ReplyDeleteLove it! Very pb style :)
ReplyDeleteVery impressive! I have a hard time with poetry so this is doubly amazing =)
ReplyDeleteHow fun, all those lively verbs. :) Neat to make it poetry.
ReplyDeleteI love this! Go you for turning it into a poem!
ReplyDeleteNot only is this linguistically appealing, but visually as well.
ReplyDeletereally good - lovely sounds and sights conjured - well done
ReplyDeleteGreat entry! :) Love your choice of words. :D
ReplyDeleteReally good job. The first poem I've seen so far. Love the sound words. I bet this sounds wonderful read aloud!
ReplyDeleteGreat word choices. I think you and I are the only poetry entries. It was a great topic to write in poetry. Your sound words were awesome!
ReplyDeleteNot sure what happened to my comment just now, but anyway, I like your word choices. I got a vivid picture of what was going on in the bowl. The pattern of the words was smartly done.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much! It was funt to try and get the vivid words to play well together and try and do a poem. Glad you all liked it!
ReplyDeleteNicely done is right! Great job - loved this!
ReplyDeleteOoh, this is great! I love the sounds and rhythm.
ReplyDeleteVery intriguing entry! Great job :)
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Rach
Hi Lady Jai! You're entry for the 2nd crusade challange has been shortlisted in the judging round. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteSo cool! I was wondering how you knew it was shortlisted - just saw your tweet. :-)
ReplyDeleteLady Jai your entry will be moving on to the final round. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGosh and ignore my spelling error in the previous post, yikes.
So excited! Thank you! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining in the challenge!
ReplyDeleteI'm starting up a 'Critiquing Crusaders' program, where participants in the Second Crusade can find other writers to exchange critiques with or form critiquing circles. If you're interested, come by The Kelworth Files to check it out!