Changing My Blog Address

I've decided to change my blog address. If any of you really follow my blog and enjoy what I have to say, please visit my new blog at http://writebackwards.we3dements.com and follow me there.

Thank you for your support and I look forward to seeing you at my new place. :)

An Epiphany Shared for #WriteMotivation

I learned a long time ago to surround myself with positive people. If you are negative, full of anger, mean or just downright pessimistic, I don’t need you in my life!

My epiphany happened between April and July of 1999. During that time, my husband was deployed to Albania. It was definitely not his first deployment. But it sure was his first deployment to a near combat zone. And it was a deployment while we were stationed on foreign soil, away from my comfortable surroundings of America and my family. I couldn’t just pick up the phone and call my mom & dad. Cost of international calls at that time were very high. I couldn’t even email them. They didn’t have a computer. My only support came from the wives of the soldiers deployed with him.

We were on a very tiny installation. It only housed one unit, and the whole unit deployed. They were an MLRS unit, called GRIDSMASHERS. They had track vehicles and could level anything with their rockets in an entire “grid square” (1,000 square meters). My husband, well, he was a wheeled mechanic. He was an outcast in this group. But, they needed a wrecker operator to pull broken track vehicles, and he was it. When their unit deployed to Albania, the whole installation went. Very few stayed behind for the Read Detachment. But, all the wives of the deployed had a support group. Or so they liked to tell themselves.

The FRG (Family Readiness Group), as it was called, was nothing more than a clique. Most wore their husband’s rank, especially the officer’s wives. Granted, they usually got more information about the deployment than the enlisted families did, and it was their responsibility to disseminate that information to all the families involved. But when the meeting morphs from information dissemination to hens cackling in their little groups, it just really isn’t anything more than high school all over again. I didn’t need it. I surely didn’t have the time for it. In high school, then, or now.

My husband and I hung out with a couple of other families before the deployment. When the guys deployed, one went home, one worked as much as I did, and the other, well, I hung out with her every so often until I realized that she never had anything positive to say. It was always “My husband’s a generator mechanic. They don’t need him.” “This deployment is stupid.” “I hate the Army.” Eventually, all I heard was “blah blah blah.” She was bringing me down with her. I was always depressed. I never had a smile on my face. And I cried…a lot!.

Luckily, it wasn’t long into the deployment when I decided to cut myself off from her and focus my attention on the few of the girlfriends who really needed my help through the deployment. My husband was a platoon leader and in charge of several single soldiers who had girl friends. They were locals, not US citizens, but they still cared about their men (at least for that moment). However, the FRG refused to keep them informed since they were not legally married. I took it upon myself to keep the ladies informed. I brought them to the meetings and kept in contact as best I could with them. I became their rock when they worried. I became their shoulder to cry on. I became their rationalization when their fears took over. It eventually dwindled down to one lady who really clicked with me. And we became fast friends. And she was the only one who married her boyfriend when the guys returned.

It was great to be surrounded by positive energy, rather than that constant negativity I got from my previous friend. Before, I found myself scowling, fearing, crying, angry all the time. That was so much easier to do it seemed. But when I cut myself off from her, and became the pillar of positive to the girlfriends who needed it, it was so much harder to put on a smile every day. Despite my own fears and resignations on this deployment, I had to remain strong for them. If I faltered, who would take care of them? So, I put on a smile every day, and didn’t let it bother me. That was the hardest thing to do.

There was a time, a month before he returned home, when I found out the whole unit was coming home at the end of June…except a chosen few. Those few would be the first to enter Kosovo. And my husband was so lucky. I found out on a Friday, after work, at an FRG meeting. After my friend left that night, I couldn’t sleep. I did not leave my house all weekend. I did not answer my phone. I pretty much locked myself in the bathroom and cried. My fears all came rushing back, 100 times stronger. He was a mechanic. He had no formal security patrol training. There were land mines to watch out for. There were still battles going on in Kosovo. And I couldn’t talk to anyone. I was the one who was supposed to be strong for everyone else. I was the one who never crumbled. But I did.

No one was there to be my pillar.

It took me all weekend to get it all out of my system. I vowed from that point on to be positive, think positive, and always keep a smile on my face–no matter what. The girls needed me. Other spouses needed to see positive, regardless if we were friends or not. And, it helped me through the day, taking one day at a time. His return home was uncertain, and I just counted it as one day closer to his homecoming.   Although that was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, I feel I grew to be so much those four months.

I hope you’ve made it this far. Why did I tell you all this? A good back story is appropriate every now and again.

Writers have a tendency to be self-mutilating. We are always our own worst critic. At least the good ones. We get enough negativity in our writing life just by being around ourselves. Negativity breeds negativity. Misery loves company. And if we don’t get out of that funk, we are bound to listen one day and just give up. It’s really that easy.

Writers are introverted by nature. At least the Internet has opened our doors and we can mingle with other writers from time to time. We can see each other’s struggles, share in the joys and the sorrows, and the most important…know we are not alone. We all need encouragement, support, and positive energy to combat our own fears. We need people to help pick us up when we are down, encourage us when we want to give up, and help make us a better writer. This is why I believe in KT Hanna’s #WriteMotivation campaign so much. It’s hard to be positive. It’s easy to give up. But the support we get from this group really does help to keep the positive in our sights.

Here’s hoping that we can continue the #WriteMotivation campaign for all time to come. Spread the love. Pay it forward!

Love you KT!

Happy New Year and #WriteMotivation

First of all, Happy New Year. May this 2012 be everything you thought it would be, and more! May it bless you with kindness, love, and peace. I'm hoping for better!

I have had a rough time while on my vacation. I've had two weeks off and I've been sick the whole time. There has been no writing, no reading, no chores, no cooking. Nothing has been done. I'm missing a lot while I'm down. But I am getting better. Hopefully, I will have more energy tomorrow when I go back to work. And, I can't wait to have more energy to get back to my writing and reading. I've got some #WriteMotivation to give and receive! :D (Need to know what I'm talking about? Check out KT Hanna's post about it.)

For Christmas, we pretty much made out like bandits! :) We bought our son his own microscope. Not those janky kind made out of plastic, but a real microscope. It's the Celestron 44340 LCD Digital LDM Biological Microscope.  And we all can look at the cool microscopic images at the same time and take pictures to share with the world. He also got pre-made slides, a slide making kit, and a grow your own bacteria kit. Pretty cool, right? We think so, but we are geeks. :)

Source

In November, I won a 320Gig HDD for an xBox 360. Only problem was, it was for the new slims.  So, with the Gamestop Power Up Platinum card and a trade in for the new 4Gig Kinect, we got the family an unexpected Christmas present, along with the new "hot" Skylanders game. Now we are on a quest to find all the Skylanders! hehe

We also got ourselves a Sleep Number bed. Our current matress was 17 years old and we knew it was time when the side wires started poking out of the matress and the sagginess just hurt our backs so bad. It didn't take long for it to come in. We had it by the 23rd and it took a couple of days to get the sleep number just right, at least for me. Hubs is still trying to find his number. What works for him on his back is completely different from when he sleeps on his belly. So he's been waking up with a sore back every morning. But, he says it quickly goes away-unlike the old matress.

We knew we wanted to get one of these for a couple of years. When our son was still in his crib/daybed we purchased a 4" memory foam topper and quickly got rid of that. It was way too hot to sleep on! It did make a nice padding at the foot of our son's bed when we took off the side rails and he fell out occassionally :) so it didn't go to complete waste! When he outgrew his crib/daybed we bought him a sleep number bed. Heck, it was cheaper than a regular matress! So we have our new bed. :)

My dad loves gemstones and jewelry. I mean, he literally watches the gem channel like people watch the NFL network. :) But seriously, he does buy a lot of nice stuff for him, mom and me and my husband.

Check these out:

For my Birthday 2011, dad had this ring made. 2 light blue Tanzanites next to a pink something or another.

I tried wearing it, but it was just too tall. 

So my dad bought me this for Christmas 2011.
Did you know about BLUE diamonds? I'm in love now!

2 different color Tanzanite earrings
The studs were from Christmas 2010
The dangles are from Christmas 2011

African Opal studded earrings

For my hubs, he's always been interested in uncut, raw gems. So this is what he got:

Rough, uncut, champaign diamonds

Rough, uncut Opal

Rough, uncut Tanzanite

So, yeah, we made out, eh? :) 

Here's hoping we all have a blessed New Year, filled with good news. Unfortunately, my 2011 ended on a sad note: My December KazkaPress Challenge did not get picked. My streak has ended. Here's hoping for good news this month. :) 

Check out my friend's accepted stories on "Who the hell is Santa Claus?" 

Rance D. Denton - The Replacement

Michael Haynes - Credit Where Credit is Due

Maybe I will post mine for you to read? I think it was just too traditional for Kazka Press. What say you? Free on my blog? Or should I find a new publishing home for it?