Short Story/Flash Fiction Challenge from Rachael Harrie's 3rd Writer Campaign
"Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count) For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!"
Here's my entry (double the challenge: 200 words, opening and closing sentences):
If you like it, Please visit and click the like. I'm #157. Thank you!
I also want to see how the reader interprets this piece. How I envision this "door" is one thing, but the intent of this piece is to get the reader to think of their own interpretation of what that door represents, and did the person go through it, or not?! Let me know in the comments how you interpret it. I find other people's ideas fascinating! Thanks!
The
Choice
The door swung open. I had a choice
to make. There was only one chance to walk through. My time had come and if I
did not chose I would be stuck here forever.
One world I’d known all my life. It was quite,
comfortable, safe. My friends and family had long since passed through their
doors. There was no one left for company. I’d fallen into a habitual life. But
it was mine. Something I was used to. Change scared me.
The other offered the unknown. It
was new, exciting, terrifying. What was on the other side? Would there be
others waiting for me? If I stayed here, I would never know. But if I went, it
may be worse than what I already had. Is my life over? Or just begun? There
were so many conflicting questions racing through my mind. But I knew I must
choose, and choose quickly.
The sun shone on both sides of the
door. One side was winter white and chilled to the bone, while the colors began
to mute. The other warmed deep into the soul as vibrant colors swirled,
contrasting, balancing equity.
I made my choice as the door swung
shut.
That was a strangely comforting piece :)
ReplyDeleteGreat concept - well done!
ReplyDeleteNice piece! Interesting to try to think about the world around the character -- why did everyone else choose to leave, etc.
ReplyDeleteGood job. :)
So... did the person walk through the door or what?! Come on!
ReplyDeleteOkay, okay, I know it's supposed to be my own interpretation, but I'm still curious :-)
Hi Jai, I love your piece! I agree, there is something quite peaceful about it despite the conflict. I think it is because we can all in some way relate to fear of change! I think the person did walk through :)
ReplyDeleteWow, did the person die? Curious...
ReplyDeleteI'd like to get a few more comments/interpretations before I reveal how I envisioned this as I wrote it. If you want to discuss, hit me up on Twitter :)
ReplyDeleteHi! Stopping by from Twitter #writecampaign. I like your entry! To me your piece speaks about change. :)
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it's a death door or something else. Interesting.
ReplyDeleteAlmost sounds like choosing between Narnia and the real world. Cool!
ReplyDeleteVery peaceful. To me, the door could represent a move to a tropical paradise.
ReplyDeleteThe narrator seems to have chosen a door and is now pondering crossing the threshold to new possibilities. The piece makes me wonder why the narrator faces an urgency and must choose quickly. It brings to mind getting ready to jump into a pool. It's not so much a question of whether you will do it, you just need time to brace yourself.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's just where my mindset is today but this made me think of starting school. Nicely written. Mine is #72
ReplyDeleteI decided to come back to read your post again, but then I realized that my previous comment wasn't here.
ReplyDeleteOr did i ever make a comment in the first place.
I might be thinking about my entry:
I had gave you a ROARING LION BLOG AWARD because the metaphor in this entry had inspired me to use metaphor in MY entry, though on a lower level.
Check out the blog award I gave you, it is at the bottom of the post:
http://mytrickstergod.blogspot.com/2011/09/first-campaigner-challenge-and-blog.html
thx for the inspiration
I didn't see it as death, rather something more like emigration to a different world, on a level that our universe doesn't offer us. And I think she did make the more promising choice, whichever that was. I found it very peaceful too.
ReplyDeletePaula (#265)
I like the philosophical take on the challenge. Well at least I think that's what you've done!
ReplyDeleteDenise
Wow! So often we make decisions only to have them decided for us because we hesitate. It sounded like that's what happened. Isn't it funny how we can write something that means so many different things to different people? I love it! Very cool 200 words!
ReplyDeleteThe first idea that came to mind when I read "door" was to have it a gateway between life and death.
ReplyDeleteThe "choice" came to me from an episode of "Being Human" when the ghost was presented her door to the other side. She didn't know what was on the other side. She didn't even know if she chose to stay would she be presented the door at another time.
Definitely, people have problems with change. They find comfort in the familiar and are terrified of the unknown. I had to incorporate that in there because no one knows what happens after we die.
I also wanted to incorporate winter/cold and spring/warm. Winter/cold usually means death, dying, and aging. Spring/warm is rebirth, life, and youth. Cold is not something people find comfort in, but warmth is. One side of the door was "winter cold"--his life he forced to give up, if he chose to stay, he'd be a ghost forever more, walking the plane of nothingness, clinging to the life he could no longer have. The other side of the door "warmed to the soul"--this was my idea of heaven. I imagined heaven like the movie "What Dreams May Come" and tried to express how vibrant the colors were swirling and juxtaposing one another but finding balance.
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I really enjoyed each interpretation. It intrigues me to see how people think. And everyone does not see things the same way. That's why I love to discuss stories in this manner.
Each one of you brought a smile to my face. I loved how it brought peace to you. How you saw Narnia in there. I love the portal to another world or dimension or school or a tropical paradise! How awesome!
This just shows me everyone's mindset, everyone's philosophy! Love it. Thanks for playing with me!
I think they went through :) Contentment would be the cold, wintery light. A new adventure would be the warm light (to me).
ReplyDeleteGood job on this piece!
I really like how it's a door to any type of change. A door of possibilities.
ReplyDeleteLove the possibilities. I always say hell would be a cold place, so I liked the description of the winter white and chilled to the bone. I can relate.
ReplyDeleteI really liked that you didn't specify if she was already standing on the warm side or the cold side :)
ReplyDeleteReally beautiful. The idea of staying in place, frozen, out of fear of the unknown, and fear of change is quite powerful. There was a nice contrast between lonliness/coldness on one side and warmth/color/invitation of the other. ~ Nadja
ReplyDeleteHey there! I've posted a link to your story on my blog as one of my flash fiction favorites. I hope that is okay. If you want me to take it down, let me know. Here is the link: http://jessica-therrien.blogspot.com/2011/09/flash-fiction-favorites.html
ReplyDeleteI like that it's open to our interpretation, because I can relate to the MC, like you've captured a point in my own life. The imagery is beautiful as well.
ReplyDeleteHey! I've listed you as a recipient of the Versatile Blogger award. You may have already received it, but.....Congrats! Details here: http://jessica-therrien.blogspot.com/2011/09/im-feeling-love.html
ReplyDelete