Thursday, March 24, 2011

Second Crusader Challenge

The Challenge:

Write a flash fiction story (in any format) in 100 words or less, excluding the title. Begin the story with the words, “The goldfish bowl teetered” These four words will be included in the word count. 

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional, and not part of the judging criteria), see if you can write the story in your own genre (eg if you’re a horror writer, write a horror story; a romance writer, a romance story, etc).  (want to read more? visit Rachael Harrie's Blog)



My Entry:

The goldfish bowl teetered
          tumbled and toppled
Oh dear! Oh my!
  bumbled and boppled


What to do? What to do?
  flailing and flapping
grasp this! grasp that! 
          whirling and wobbling


I only made matters worse 
  smacking and smashing 
off the table top
  battered and bashing


The goldfish paniced inside
  splishing and splashing
This way and that! 
  darting and dashing

I watched it dance, spellbound 
  coiling and circling
Round and round it went 
  Whirling and waltzing


Hypnotizing 
          mesmerizing
                    fascinating
  captivating
                    Watching it 
  careen and plunge
Thwack!

21 comments:

  1. Very nicely done. :) I love the sounds created in this piece.

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  2. Very impressive! I have a hard time with poetry so this is doubly amazing =)

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  3. How fun, all those lively verbs. :) Neat to make it poetry.

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  4. I love this! Go you for turning it into a poem!

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  5. Not only is this linguistically appealing, but visually as well.

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  6. really good - lovely sounds and sights conjured - well done

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  7. Great entry! :) Love your choice of words. :D

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  8. Really good job. The first poem I've seen so far. Love the sound words. I bet this sounds wonderful read aloud!

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  9. Great word choices. I think you and I are the only poetry entries. It was a great topic to write in poetry. Your sound words were awesome!

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  10. Not sure what happened to my comment just now, but anyway, I like your word choices. I got a vivid picture of what was going on in the bowl. The pattern of the words was smartly done.

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  11. Thank you all so much! It was funt to try and get the vivid words to play well together and try and do a poem. Glad you all liked it!

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  12. Nicely done is right! Great job - loved this!

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  13. Ooh, this is great! I love the sounds and rhythm.

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  14. Very intriguing entry! Great job :)

    Hugs,

    Rach

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  15. Hi Lady Jai! You're entry for the 2nd crusade challange has been shortlisted in the judging round. Great Job!

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  16. So cool! I was wondering how you knew it was shortlisted - just saw your tweet. :-)

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  17. Lady Jai your entry will be moving on to the final round. Good luck!

    Gosh and ignore my spelling error in the previous post, yikes.

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  18. So excited! Thank you! Thank you!

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  19. Thanks for joining in the challenge!

    I'm starting up a 'Critiquing Crusaders' program, where participants in the Second Crusade can find other writers to exchange critiques with or form critiquing circles. If you're interested, come by The Kelworth Files to check it out!

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